Mile: -22
Okay, so the trip didn't
technically start today, but I left home so that's what counts. Bags are packed, goodbyes said, house in
order, I'm outta here. It's quite
dreary out, and fittingly so. Of all my
motorcycle trips, they have all started in the rain. I'm headed North to Everett to stay the night with the folks, it
seems safe. No late night out drinking,
no hangover to start day 1. I make it
all the way to 527 before the rain starts.
It's really just a drizzle, but wet is wet, and this seems to be wet.
Mile: 0
Here I am. In Everett.
The day 0 ride is complete.
Enough of that. I head down to
Bothell for one last home cooked meal before my 15 day trek to somewhere and
back. The rum was good, the food was
great, the company was the best.
<<I am Jason's tummy. I am
happy. I am full.>> We watched Fight Club. See the movie if you don't get the
reference.
My first good night's sleep
in some time is about to come. I'm
talking quantity, not company.
Total Miles: 22
Mile: 0
We take off and it's foggy
as hell. No precipitation
though........I am oddly disappointed.
I-5 bores me. Everett bores
me. Monroe bores me. Steven's Pass bores me. After Leavenworth, things seem all
right. No more Winnebago's (and there
oddly very few out today on this fine Saturday morning). It's nice and sunny. No more clouds; the only shadows come from
the mountains beside me. Highway 2
seems like a great way to cross the state.
Very scenic, that is until we get to Spokane. Remind me never to live there.
Shoot me if I ever think about going there other than to pass
through. Smells kind of like Pullman
but without the pretty coeds.
Miles: 217
Seems a little warmer out
on the East side of the Cascades. Lost
the gloves 30 miles back. Time to lose
the jacket now. I feel funny not
wearing any leather when the only thing between me and the asphalt I'm grazing
over at 65 mph is 3 feet of air.
I think the tires are
finally broken in. I have a mild amount
of confidence in their ability to keep me from careening my head into the ground. I know that if they pitch me in that
direction, I don't have a chance of missing.
Seems like no matter how many times I've been thrown at the ground, I've
never missed hitting it.
Miles: 330
We head North out of
Spokane sticking to the Highway 2 plan.
Man is it great to not be riding on the freeways. I somehow miss the sign that we've entered
Idaho. Not sure how that happened, but
I've been staring at the same tailight on the same blue motorcycle in front of
me for almost 6 hours today. I know I'm
in Idaho because there's no longer state run liquor stores. It's a bunch of "Idaho Liquors"
now. Strangely I'm not tempted to stop
in. Something must be wrong....I'll
sleep on it.
Nice windy road now, wer're
following Jewel Lake. Pretty impressive
scenery. It's cooled down a little now
that we're near water. We have a plan
on where to spend the night: The mildly
appealing town of Sandpoint Idaho......which when we arrive turns out to be a
really cool place. It's a resort town,
pretty developed (hey, any town with both a Wal Mart and a Big K-Mart has to be
developed). Hotels are full. Saturday night, resort town, class
reunions. AT&T 00-INFO to the
rescue !! Tom Bodett left the light on
for us.
Total Miles: 373
Mile: 0
Great night's sleep. Needed it.
That makes two in a row for me.
I think I'm going to start counting as this may be a recurring trend (until
Sturgis !!). 88 degrees this morning as
we head out. No thoughts of even starting
with jackets. Pleasant morning, riding
off into the sunrise (okay, so it's 9:10, but the sun is still rising).
I see my first roadkill
!!!! Big moment for me. I'm a fan of roadkill. It tells us a lot about life; okay, maybe
just the end of life. It's a big
deer. By the size it might be a buck,
but I can't see the head. (S)He's belly
up by the side of the road. Kind of
looks like a dog that's waiting for his belly to be scratched. No blood, no missing patches of skin, no
missing limbs, no decay. Serene you
might say.
I see my second roadkill
!!! It's some 50 miles later. Not as pretty a picture. Not serene.
Could be a week old. Nice 75
foot strip of splayed blood on the road, I drive over it with my new
tires. The deer's off the side of the
road but the scene is obvious. I'd hate
to see what the other guy looked like.
Doubt he drove away from that one.
Mile: 77
Don't know how I missed it
again, but I crossed another state line.
I'm in Montana now. How do I
know? "Montana Liquors".....I'll
have to see if this is going to be a recurring theme with me. I should have seen the sign, I saw the one
for "Mountain Time Zone". It
occurs at the border. Don't dwell on
this too much, it's a beautiful day ahead.
We finally arrive at Glacier
National Park. Spectacular
scenery. But we're here for one reason
and one reason only: "Going to the
Sun road". 52 miles of nothing but
fun and scenery as we cross through the mountains. It's slow going, 2 narrow lanes (1 in some places), tight turns,
lots of traffic, sheer rock wall on one side, whole lotta nothin' on the other
side. But I feel safe....I have an
18" high rock wall on the side of the road that's supposed to save me from
tumbling 3000' to my bloody death. We
stop several times to take in the scenery and grab a few pictures (kind of hard
to see it all when you're operating a motor vehicle that people are out to
hit). The lodge at the top is pretty
cool, I am extremely put out that I left without seeing the "Continental
Divide" sign. I was really looking
forward to it. I'll dwell on this the
rest of the day......Dammit.....still dwelling on it.
We leave the National Park
at St. Mary's and now the real fun begins.
Enough of the scenery, bring on the twisty windy roads. There are so many beautiful sights to
see. "Caution 45mph"
signs......."Tight turns ahead" signs......"Curves next 8
miles" signs.....it's so beautiful I think my eyes are misting. Nothing technical about the road, just 2
bikes, 3 people, and extreme lean angles.
Nothing scraping the ground yet; I can only wait. It lasts a good 30 miles. Oh happiness.
Miles: 218
Damn. Now we're into "MONTANA". Flat land, straight roads, dusty, windy,
mind numbing. 100 miles to go of
nothing. Moving at 110 feet per second
over the open road and it seems like we're standing still becuase there's no
reference points. It's 100 degrees and
not a cloud in the sky. I'd love to
feel some sweat but it's so dry that it evaporates immediately. Here I am contributing to the enthalpy of
the world and I receive no benefits of the cooling effect of evaporation.
We've been following
railroads most of the way. We catch up
with a train we passed multiple hours ago.
He apparently doesn't stop to eat or pee. I do for both. Cool
train. 3 engines, cruising at around
50mph, must be over 150 cars in tow. We
pass him again over the course of several miles. I ponder just how many miles it takes him to come to a complete
stop with all that weight (what else am I going to think about when he's the
only thing to look at for 50 miles in any direction). Engine number 4956; Burlington Northern, SF branch. I think the engineer's name might be Joe,
but it could be Bill or Billy or Mac or Buddy.
I'd like to see if he'd let me wear his hat. At least until we reach our destination of Shelby. 375 miles of flat Montana to go.
Today's Miles: 343
Today's miles: 716
Mile: 0
It's a balmy 83 degrees
this morning. Sun is out but the sky is
hazy; looks promising.
Mile: 18
I catch my second bird of
the trip. The first one I clipped
yesterday, but today's was a little better.
Not only did I get him, I kept him.
He tucked himself away nicely into my fairing. His feathers fell off a couple at a time for the next 20 miles or
so until we stopped. I pulled him out
with my leatherman pinchers and he didn't have a head. I was little miffed.
Mile: 42
Hit 105 on the speedo
today. Big grin. Happy camper. Lots of power left, smooth as could be.
Mile: 90
Saw a General Mills plant
by the side of the road. That would
explain where all the grain is going.
It inspired a Haiku:
Stalks of golden wheat,
Swaying gently in the
breeze,
Soon they will be dead.
Okay, so I won't quit my
day job. It worked at the time and it
kept me amused for 30 or 40 miles.
Mile: 187
Ran into some rain. Nothing serious, just precipitation. It's odd though, Montana only gets an
average of 1" per month in both July and August, and somehow we found it. Not only that but we run into rain twice
again later in the day. Oh well, at
least it's cool and breezy. Not the 100
degrees we were expecting. In fact, it
stayed in the 80's most of the day.
Very happy about that.
Mile: 256
Dinosaurs !!!!!! That's right, Dinosaurs !!!!! Some farmer got bored apparently and carved
some big ol' dino's. He put one each on
some hills that face Highway 2. There
was a T-Rex, a brontosaurus, some Triceratops lookin' thing (without any horns)
and some alligator thing. They were
pretty darn cool. Mom and Dad missed
them the first time by so we turned around and went back. And took some pictures. Hey, it's not much, but besides Glacier
National Park, this is all Montana has to offer.
Mile: 284
We hit 1000 miles for the
trip so far. Nothing else exciting
about mile 284....but wait until the next one:
Mile: 369:
Hit 120 on the speedo
!! It was an absolute blast. Held it for 1/2 a mile or so. Spectacular. Bike is rock solid. More
power left, just ran out of room.
Today's Miles: 542
Total Miles: 1258
Mile: 0
Well, Minot, North Dakota
was seemingly better of a stay than in Shelby, Montana the night before. It's a cool 76 degrees this morning, the sky
is clear, the birds are chirping, and all 3 of us got a terrible night's
sleep. The room was a funky
temperature, it was extremely dry from the conditioned air, the pillows sucked,
and there were people walking around all night on the floor above us. Other than that, Minot was very pleasant.
I'm bound and determined
today to:
·
Never become a UPS delivery person in either Montana or North Dakota
·
Never become a FedEx delivery person in either Montana or North Dakota
·
Never become a USPS delivery person in either Montana or North Dakota
·
See a train with a caboose
·
Actually see a state border when I cross it
My luck on the last two
have been terribly bad. I've seen over
25 trains on this trip and not one of them had a caboose. I even saw an Amtrak passenger train, about
15 cars long, and IT didn't have a caboose.
Terribly disappointed.
I also have yet to see a
state border. I missed Idaho (although
I remember the river). I missed Montana
(but I saw the change to Mountain Time).
I missed North Dakota (there was construction and a sign that said
"LOOSE GRAVEL" that took precedence over seeing anything else). So I missed Central Time change as
well. We're getting out a little late
this morning, 9:30, and we still have to find a grocery store to get our lunch.
Mile: 67
Rugby, North Dakota. The geographical center of North
America. Pretty damned cool that I've
now been there. It was a might small
monument (I doubt a US president has ever visited it), but it did have a road
sign that showed the furthest point you could go in any direction North, South,
East, or West. If you went due West, as
the crow flies, after 1,100 miles you'd end up in Neah Bay, Washington. But then you'd be a pretty tired Crow.
Mile 213:
I saw it, I saw it !!! Minnesota state line !!! So I saw a state border........but alas, no
caboose......
We're in fabulous
International Falls, Minnesota this evening.
If you don't recognize the name, shame on you (don't worry, I
didn't). It's often reported as being
the coldest place in the US. On the
news when they show the hottest and coldest place, there is International
Falls. If not there, then Bemidji,
Minnesota (which we passed through to get here).
Tomorrow it's off to see
the Canucks. We're crossing the border,
getting some Cuban cigars, legalized marijuana, legal prostitutes (which I
think Mom will particularly enjoy), and heading out Highway 11 to Thunder Bay,
Ontario. From there it will be back down
Highway 61 to Duluth, Minnesota where we will again stay at a leisure hotel.
But as much as I look
forward to Canada, I like these Minnesotans.
They crack me up. Several places
along the roadway they would leave funny things. They have huge rolls of hay here (instead of bales) that end up
being about 6' in diameter and 4 or 5' thick.
Some farmer took one that was on it's side and put the lower half of a
body sticking out of it. Pants, socks,
shoes, the whole bit. Quite
amusing. Another person had cutouts in
her front yard that included one of a boy with his pants down peeing in the
bushes. I'm really jealous of this
one. I am thwarted that we didn't get
to go through Fargo. I know that
several of you wanted me to find the two guys from the movie. You know the ones: "they were funny lookin'....<<yaaaa>>......you
know, just funny lookin'......<<yaaaa>>......oh ya, and
circumcised.......<<yaaaa>>".
If you don't understand, go see the movie.
Today's Miles: 446
Total Miles: 1704
Mile: 0
It's a little more brisk
this morning than it has been the previous few; somewhere in the low 70's. Cool enough that we're wearing long sleeve
shirts and gloves. Mom's all bundled up
in her leather jacket, wishing she had a scarf as well. We don't make it too far into Canada before
we stop and Dad and I put our jackets on as well. But that's alright, no rain, so the world is good.
Highway 11 was a little
more entertaining than we had expected.
They were doing construction for the first 18 miles of it. But it was cool to see. We got to see, in progressive order, every
step that's undertaken to redo a road in Canada. We saw: a muncher that
ate up the existing asphalt and spit it out in chunks back on the road, a
steamroller that was fitted with a special drum that looked like a pizza roller
they use at Pizza Hut, a bulldozed to level stuff out, a grader to get just the
right tilt for water runoff, a steamroller (running cold) to compress the dirt,
a water truck to make sure it settles all down and to keep the dust down, an
oil truck to prepare the dirt for asphalt, an asphalt truck to lay the new
road, a steamroller to level/grade the road, a water truck to cool the new
asphalt, and a paint truck to restripe it.
They do it all in one shot right in a row up here. I should have taken some resumes so I could
pass them on to the yahoos in charge of the 405 construction, the 522
construction, and the 2 construction.
Hell, we probably could have even paid these guys in worthless Canadian
dollars.
I've been looking at my
bike kinda funny ever since we crossed the border too. I think something must be defective. I know I'm in a metric country, but my bike
didn't convert at the border. My
odometer is still reading in miles instead of kilometers. My speedometer is still reading in mph
instead of kph. And the clock is funny
too; instead of English hours/minutes/seconds, I expected metric
hours/minutes/seconds. I'm gonna have to
call the dealer and see if there was a recall on these parts. If not, maybe it's covered under warranty.
Mile: 26
We stop at a scenic lookout
to take pictures of Rainy Lake. No rain
today, apparently they got that over with for the week already. There was mostly rain on Monday, and severe
thunderstorms yesterday. How we missed
it I'll never know. We did have a
little mishap leaving the parking lot though.
Dad and I bumped bikes and we all went down. Luckily this time when the bikes went down there were two guys to
lift them back up instead of one. Dad's
bike is tipping in at around 950 lbs fully loaded and mine's up around 800
lbs. Of course, that's without riders
(we jumped off the bikes when they went down, much better than being trapped
underneath). Damage to our bodies was
nil; damage to the bikes was minor cosmetic; damage to our nerves lasted for a
few dozen miles. Oh well, life happens.
Mile: 133
Well, it's been 1300 miles
or so since I missed the Continental Divide, and don't think for a minute that
I stopped dwelling on it. Just because
I haven't mentioned it in a couple of days doesn't mean I've forgotten. Anyway, I think I'm finally over it,
because:
It's the "ARCTIC
WATERSHED" !!!!!! Yeahhhhhh !!!!!
For those of you who don't
really care, I'm going to tell you anyway:
The Continental Divide is a North-South line at which every river on the
West flows towards the Pacific Ocean and every river on the East flows toward
the Atlantic Ocean. The Arctic
Watershed is an East-West line where every river North flows towards the Arctic
Ocean and every river South flows towards the Atlantic Ocean. (If this ever comes up on Jeopardy, each and
every one of you will thank me, I know it).
Mile: 220
We're headed back South on
Highway 61 towards the states and I just have to stop off and see Old Fort
Williams. I never would have thought to
stop except that at some rest area a couple of old ladies asked us where we
were headed and we said "Thunder
Bay" and they said "Oh, we're headed to Old Fort Williams, it's
a really old Fort". We thought
"okay, crazy old coots, whatever", thinking nothing would come of
it. How little did we really know. Just South of Thunder Bay, there lies Old
Fort Williams, dubbed the "World's Largest Fur Trading Fort". Uh-huh.
So those crazy old ladies were off their rockers.
You know, I notice
something about Canada, it's full of flies.
Yesterday, crossing through North Dakota and even mildly into Minnesota,
there were nothing but butterflies. But
Canada, just flies. USA -
Butterflies. Canada - Flies. USA - butter. Canada - I can't believe it's not butter. The flies are really annoying anytime we
stop, but the butterflies have their annoyances too. CENSORSHIP: ALL ANIMAL
LOVERS SKIP TO THE NEXT SECTION.
Butterflies are cute, soft, juicy, slow, and dumb. They're very pretty to look at, and they'll
fly right up to you vehicle, but they're too slow to then get out of the way of
your vehicle. And they're soft. And juicy.
Everywhere we stopped for gas we cleaned the windshields, but it didn't
matter, there's still butterflies everywhere.
Flies can at least get the hell out of the way when you come at them at
60 mph.
Mile: 296
We roll 2000 miles for the
trip. Back in the US now. Empty handed through customs a while
back. Kind of disappointed. I had intended to find a cigar shop and buy
a box of Cohibas. I looked, but didn't
find any. Kind of disappointed.
Something to think
about: Canadian customs doesn't want
you to bring any guns, ammo, pepper spray, or mace into Canada. US customs don't want you to bring any
liquor into the states (but they were curious to find out if "you left
anything behind while you were in Canada).
Canada also wants to know my license plate number and state of
registration. The US doesn't give a
damn what vehicle comes back in.
If you ever need to smuggle
someone across the border, do it on a motorcycle. I have on clothes that cover 100% of the skin below my neck. Pants, jacket, shoes, gloves, the works. I'm also wearing a full face helmet. And I have on sunglasses. So really, only about 0.3% of the skin on my
entire body is visible. What do I get
asked: "Where do you live?"
(I give a state, any state, hell there's 50 of 'em)...."Are you a US Citizen?"
(Yup)......"Got any liquor?"
(Nope....but now that I think about it, was she trying to prevent me
from getting it into the states or did she want another drink on the
job?). Canadian Immigration had similar
questions about state of residence, although they didn't care if I was a
citizen. So what I'm getting at is they
don't really know (care?) what nationality or ethnicity I am if they can't see
my skin. Just something to keep in the
back of your mind. Oh yeah, and one
other thing, they didn't ask me about Beanie Babies or 3.6 gallons per flush
toilets. Maybe it's just a Washington
thing not a Minnesota thing.
Gas mileage is going quite
well though. For all you people who
drive a big 'ol SUV and are getting 15 miles per gallon: Yesterday, doing 65, I got 51 mpg (320 miles
on one tank). Today, doing 60, I got 53
mpg. Oh yeah, and full is as cheap as
$1.29 for regular and $1.35 for the next grade up.
But we made it to Duluth,
Minnesota. Tomorrow it's a quick trip
down Highway 35 through Wisconsin and over to the big metropolis of
Minneapolis. I don't know when I'll
next again write as the wedding partying begins tomorrow and doesn't end until
Sunday morning. Which coincides with
when we leave Minnesota on our way to Sturgis.
Which by the way, is where I'm going to see STYX in concert on Wednesday
night. I love my life.
Today's Miles: 407
Total Miles: 2111
Mile: 0
It's a cool 73 degrees this
morning, but the sun is shining and all is right in the world. Stayed at a mildly scary motel last night (The
Chalet), but it's what was available, the price was right, and all we were
doing was sleeping. Or trying to
sleep......boy do I miss my waterbed.
Six nights now on a mattress.
Mile: 4
We had to travel on a
freeway for 3.5 miles this morning.
Quite disappointing. Hopefully
won't have to do that much more this trip.
We're crossing over the bridge from Duluth, Minnesota into wonderful
cheesy Wisconsin. I'm awake, alert, and
searching for the state line. I'm going
over the bridge that separates the two states, and I know I'm crossing the
state line, but there's no sign to be seen.
Just another item on the list of disappointments this trip. And you know, missing the Continental Divide
is the worst thing that's happened so far, so it's not like I have a lot of
room to complain.
Highway 35 through
Wisconsin is absolutely the best road we've been on the whole trip. Recently paved (six months ago?), fully
striped, shoulders either side, 60 mph, no traffic, curvy (not windy) road
through some of the most beautiful countryside. It's absolutely amazing.
The forests, the occasional farm, the small towns of 600-800 people,
lakes, rivers, corn fields, hills, turns.......the best. Somewhere around 150 miles of spectacular
road. It's a shame that it's going to
end. Even the temperature cooperated,
never went above 80 and it stayed sunny all afternoon.
I wish I were more of a
novelist than a technical writer so I could convey just how spectacular this
stretch of road is. I didn't bother
with pictures, I would be ashamed at how little they would capture of the
feeling and surrounding.
Mile: 160
"Welcome to
Wisconsin".........hmmmm........if you've been following closely, you'll
know that I was already in Wisconsin.
Somehow we crossed back into Minnesota.
My percentage of state border sightings is not looking real good. But oddly enough, didn't need to go back
into Wisconsin. Somehow the road we're
looking for wasn't marked. So in
another 12 miles we turn around.
Mile: 184
No sighting of
"Welcome to Minnesota". I
know it should be here. We're on I-94
(freeways suck), I can see the "Welcome to Wisconsin" sign on the
other side of the freeway. That cheap
b**tard Jesse Ventura can't even afford to put up a state line sign. What a hack.
But we make it. White Bear Lake, Minnesota. Hanging out with the family. Trip 1 is successful. We arrived without too much drama and
everyone is safe and sound. Let the
partying begin.
And the partying
begins. Rehearsal dinner was an
absolute blast. Some randoms give me a
ride home at 1:30 in the morning from whatever bar I happened to be at. Nice folks, Whit and Kirsten. Pleasant couple. Friends of the groom in town for the wedding. Nice little rental car too. Had a fabulous conversation with them, have
no idea if I overstayed my welcome with them.....things are a tad fuzzy at the
moment.
Today's Miles: 210
Total Miles: 2321
Mile: 0
Don't anticipate making it
far today. Doubt I'll even rack up 20
miles. Feeling great this morning. No cloudy head, no cotton mouth, no
dizziness, quite a successful evening last night.
Did I mention Highway 35
through Wisconsin? I'm not sure if I
remembered to. I still can't get over
how fabulous it was. I'm tempted to
jump on the bike and head back over for a quick little 80 mile ride. Really tempted......really.
Mile: 12
Car wash time. Remember those lovable butterflies and the
friendly birds? Time to get them the
hell off the bikes. Can't believe the shape
the bikes are in. Seeing through the
windshield is not an easy task. Many
quarters later we dad and I have the first layer or two of 6 states and 1
Canadian province scrubbed off the bikes.
Are they "clean"? No, but "cleaner".
Mile: 15
Time to order the alcohol
for the Saturday night post-wedding BBQ.
Somehow, not quite sure how this happened, I got tasked with ordering
the kegs/wine/etc. for the BBQ. I
repeatedly told the host that I was the wrong person for the job, that I'd
never done anything like this before, and that I wasn't sure I could perform
the task. Somehow everyone had total
confidence in my abilities...
The wedding was pretty damn
nice. Beautiful group of people. Very nice ceremony. Great Catholic wedding. Earlier in the day I informed the bride that
in case anything happened, I am ordained and prepared to step in at a moments
notice. The sigh of relief was not
heard, but I do believe I saw some worried skepticism on her face. I'm not sure "man of the cloth"
was comforting, but, as always, amusing.
As it just so happens, no hitches were forthcoming and my services were
not required.
Now the reception, that was
a piece of work. Holy cow. Held at the White Bear Lake Yacht Club, no
expenses spared. Cocktails and appetizers
by the pool, sit down dinner that started with a wonderful salad to be followed
up by a plate of roast (medium), prawns (8-10 count), potatoes, carrots, and
zucchini. Small portions of everything,
perfect amount of food. Filling, yet
not stuffed. A full dessert bar with
more types of chocolate than I thought possible. I made several trips for my mother. The wedding cake was absolutely phenomenal, and then the full
service bar opened back up. Amanda kept
me feeling happy the whole night. No
waiting in line, no need to place my order every time, generous pours, quite
the lady.
At some point in time the
evening did become a little hazy, but pleasantly so. Didn't count my drinks, didn't want to. DJ, I'll fill you in on the particulars because you will truly
appreciate them.
Band's done, bar's closed,
people leaving, time to start scouting out a ride. Jump in the backseat of a car, and what to my wondering eyes does
appear? Why it's Whit and Kirsten in
the front seat. Some other couple by my
side in back and it's off to the rodeo.
Once again, I'm home safe and sound thanks to the help of my new
designated drivers. For some reason, as
I crawl into bed, things seem to be moving in front of me. I check to see that I'm not on a
turntable......nope, sure enough, my feet are planted firmly on the
ground. The possibility that the entire
room is rotating around me seems pretty remote......hmmm......must be drunk.
Today's Miles: 16
Total Miles: 2337
Mile: 0
Hmmmmm.....something's
wrong here. Oh yeah, that's right, I'm
a little dehydrated. Haven't been
drinking my usual 96 ounces of water each day.
Tends to modify my reaction to large amounts of liquor. If I'm not mistaken, I'm hung over. But being the professional alcoholic that I
am, I know how to hide this fact. I
know how to be cheery, funny, sarcastic, and upbeat without letting on that I
need 6 more hours of sleep and a #1 combo in my belly. Teriyaki is the best hangover food I've ever
had. Ryan, eat one for me, I need
it. Nope, better make that two, it's a
rough one today.
Mall of America, here I
come. I had no idea. This place isn't just huge, it's
immense. More acreage than I know what
to do with. And what's at the center of
the mall? No, not a silly ice skating rink.
It's a carnival. A roller
coaster. A log ride (complete with
downhill slide that gets people wet). A
Ferris wheel. A tilt-a-whirl. A petting zoo. Face painters. Guess your
age. Guess your weight. Remember, this is in the middle of a
shopping mall. On the fourth floor, a
new restaurant complete with a 6 lane bowling alley. I'm very impressed. But
the best part? Lego land. Wow.
I had no idea what people with a huge budget, 50 million legos, and lots
of time on their hands could do. This
place was intense. Not the legos of my
childhood. Theme legos, special size
legos, and get this: Robotic
legos. That's right, robotic
legos. There were photoeyes, proximity
switches, temperature sensors, motor controllers, the works. The kit comes with software that you write
on the PC and download through an IR port to a microcontroller built into the
legos. This is absolutely nuts. $200.
Somehow I think AT&T needs to do some development work in the field
of high volume, low cost thermoplastics of odd shape and color. I have to be able to write this off somehow.
Even got in a little water
skiing on the lake today. To all of you
who have let me know that the weather in Seattle is fabulous and that I somehow
forgot to leave a boat key with you: ha
ha ha ha ha. Great day.
Indeed, my job of ordering
the alcohol for the BBQ seemed to work all right. Even though I didn't know what to order or how much, everyone
seemed to enjoy. Maybe I should look
into making a career out of this.
Nahhhhhh.....who could ever see me serving alcohol. A bartender? Keep dreaming.....
As I say goodbye to family
and friends, Kirsten steps up and wonders why she's not able to take me home
tonight. She and Whit have been
watching me this evening, waiting for the moment when their services are
requested. And truth be told, I've been
watching them, waiting for the moment when they might be leaving just to ask
for a ride. But alas, it just didn't
happen, got a ride home with the fam'.
For some odd reason, which I am yet to figure out, no alcohol entered my
system on this lovely eveing. Was I not
in the mood? Was I still hung? Was I still toxic? All good questions, most of you know the answer.
Today's Miles: 0
Total Miles: 2337
Mile: 0
Been a while since I've
jumped on that bike. I'm not sure my
butts up to the task. It's mighty windy
this morning, the smell or impending precipitation in the air. You can just feel it waiting to rain. But it was not meant to be. Traveled under some might dark and heavy
clouds, but the rain gods could not find our location. An hour later, it's sunshine all the
way. A comfy 80 degrees with moderate
humidity. Much more humid than usual,
but welcome.
Again, the roads we travel
are phenomenal. Beautiful paving,
spectacular scenery, trees, lakes, fields, and oh yes, corn. Lots of corn. More than you could shake a stick at? More than enough to choke a giraffe? You bet. So much damn
corn I wish I could see some wheat again.
Or maybe not.
Mile: 27
Corn.
Mile: 35
Corn.
Mile: 72
Corn.....
Mile.......
Mile: 158
Corn.
Mile: 204
Wait, wait.......is it the
South Dakota state line I see? Nope,
just more damn corn. Seems that the
corn overtook the state line. Perhaps
I'm blind. I miss the "Thanks,
come again", I miss the "Welcome to South Dakota", I even miss
the increase in speed limit.
<<Dreamer......Nothin' but a dreamer.......>>
Mile: 262
Just had to mention this
one. I know what you're expecting, and
you're right, more corn, but amidst the corn is a most unusual sight. Highway 81 is traveling through some
lakes. That right, they built up a
road, lined it with rocks, and we're driving right through the lakes. But what to my wandering eye should appear
(not a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer), pelicans. You heard it here, pelicans. A whole flock of them. Hangin' out in the lake. Pretty cool. Take a picture? No, I'd
rather have a picture of the corn.
Mile: 308
I've been working on a haiku
about corn for around 140 miles now.
I'm embarrassed to write what I've written so far. As it is, 2.5 hours and I can't finish the
damn thing. I mean, come on, it's corn,
how tough could it be to write a haiku?
After all, I could write one about wheat. Now, I know it wasn't my best work I've ever done......<<I
don't want a pickle, I just want a ride on my motorcickle>> (if you don't
understand, don't ask, you wouldn't find it amusing unless you already
knew. At least Mike gets it.)
Mile: 312
I-90. It's really the only way to get where we're
going. Bummer, but oh well. Tomorrow will be 274 miles of I-90 so the
30+ we'll be on it today won't be so bad.
I wouldn't have included this entry if it weren't for the rest
stop. Here we are, zipping by at 80
mph, and I glance over at the rest stop by the side of the road. 50+ bikes are all sitting there lined up in
a row. Now, 50 was an impressive sight,
I can only imagine what 50,000 will look like.
The adrenaline starts to flow...
Mile: 348
Here I am, just 3 miles
from the famous Corn Palace. That's
right folks, right here in Mitchell, South Dakota. It's trouble. That starts
with "t", that rhymes with "c", that stands for Corn. Palace that is. Tomorrow, I will have the blessed opportunity to photograph the
amazing historical sight. Not only that
but I will anxiously await the moment when I can share the experience with all
of you. In explicit, boring detail, my
trip to the Corn Palace.
We're already seeing lots
of bikes. Nearing the hundreds. They're everywhere (although no Elvis
sightings yet.....Beau, I have an omen).
But the bikes are fabulous. The
adrenaline is rushing full on now.
Knowing that we're 9 days and over 2600 miles down and we're now within
300 miles of our destination. I feel
giddy. I am so ready to experience
everything Sturgis has to offer. But
alas, I must wait........
Today's Miles: 349
Total Miles: 2686
Mile: 0
I am ready. What more can I say.
Mile: 3
Oh yeah baby......you've
been waiting all day to hear the report on this: The Corn Palace. We drove
by. I took pictures. What more can I say.
Mile: 55
Rain. We can see it in the distance. It's quite the sight to be riding in the beautiful
sunshine and to see looming blacks clouds in the distance. You can see that the area between the clouds
and the ground is almost hazy, smoggy.
But then you can tell it's rain.
Absolutely glorious to see a rain shower happening from a distance. And the lightning strikes. I don't if it's possible to lightning
without thunder, but we don't hear any.
Of course, with the sound of hundreds of Harleys passing in every
direction, there's not much you can hear but the thumping of 4" bores
cruisin' down the road. It's not often
that you get to see a lightning storm/rain storm happening so close yet still
be bathed in total sun.
Mile: 59
Man this rain sure
sucks. It's nowhere near as fun when
you're actually IN the rain. And this
stuff hurts. Tiny droplets of water
impinging on your bare flesh at over 100 feet per second again and again and
again. This is mildly painful. As we pass under a bridge there must be at
least 30 bikes in both directions all huddled up underneath to avoid the liquid
humidity. Wussies. Must be from Wisconsin or Iowa.
It still amazes me how many
people trailer their bikes in. I bet
20% of the bikes we see are on trailers or in the back of pickups. Now, they're pretty nice bikes, but come on,
some of these people have Wisconsin, Iowa, North Dakota, Wyoming, and even
South Dakota plates. What, you can't
ride 200 miles? We've ridden almost
3000 to get here. Don't these people
understand the journey or are they stuck on the destination?
Mile: 229
If you know anything about
South Dakota and I-90, you know where we are without even reading on: Wall Drug.
After 376 signs, how could we not stop.
Bikes everywhere.
Thousands. Impressive. What more can I say.
Mile: 314
As we head off from Mark's
place (where we're staying in Rapid City), we roll 3000 miles. Not bad for a little trip to this little
town for a little bike show.
Mile: 355
Sturgis. We have arrived. What more can I say.
Okay, perhaps there is more
that I can say on this one topic. This
place is nuts. I love it. I'm doing this every year for the rest of my
life. Mardi Gras was fun and all, but
this place is outrageous. Dad and I are
thinking about getting some Harleys just so we can fully participate. The best thing about riding a Harley: The clothes. There are hundreds of cool Harley shirts. When was the last time you saw a cool
t-shirt for Yamaha, Kawasaki, of Suzuki?
Heck, Honda doesn't have more than two or three funny shirts. And the leather. These people know how to dress.
And there wasn't anything we didn't see (although there were some things
we shouldn't have seen). There were
beautiful women who should have worn less clothes and there were not so
beautiful women who should have worn more.
Only stayed 4 or 5 hours
today. The ride was pretty grueling,
what with construction and all. We
still have two and half more days so we don't want to push it. Tomorrow and Wednesday night should be
all-nighters if I do it right. At least
tomorrow I can get up refreshed, hangover free, and go enjoy some touristy
stuff. After that, bring on the
scantily clad Sturgis honeys !!
If anyone wants a t-shirt,
let me know in short order. $10 is a
really good ballpark of what you'll get.
Let me know if you want Harley or just Sturgis. Color would be nice to know as well (black
is pretty darned common, but red, gray, blue, and white are also
available). If you even wanted to be so
kind as to specify a size I might be able to accommodate that as well. Hats:
$8-12 (again, color).
Shotglasses? Pictures of nekkid
ladies? Empty beer glasses? Tattoos?
Party on !!!! (you know I will)
Today's Miles: 399
Total Miles: 3085
Mile: 0
It's off for a little sight
seeing today. The roads aroound here
are amazing. I thought Highway 35
through Wisconsin was good? Nothing
compared to this. Not only do you have
all the trees, lakes, nice quality roads, etc., you also are in the
mountains. Well, the black hills
really, but the people here think they're mountains and that's just fine with
me. So the roads are nice and
twisty. They'd be perfect if it weren't
for the thousands of other bikes on the roads.
One thing I have to say about this group, they're not a bunch of
speeders. They have little to no desire
to carve through canyons on their hogs.
Mile: 32
Crazy Horse. Wow.
What a sight. Not even close to
completion yet, but spectacular just the same.
They've removed over 180 million tons of granite from the mountain
already, and they've just begun. The
project's been underway for over 50 years, and certain portions have taken
shape, but there's so much left to be done.
Rushmore might be a disappointment after seeing this.
Mile: 47
Rushmore. It's been 21 years since I've been
here. Still quite a sight. So much has changed that I don't recognize
anything but the mountain. Actually
stayed and watched all the videos and read the placards. Pretty impressive place. The guy who started Crazy Horse was
Borglum's assistant on Rushmore for years.
And man is Rushmore rakin' in the dough. The people there said that on a normal day they get 1000
visitors. During rally week, 1000 an
hour. At $5 a bike, that's some
cash. Crazy horse didn't do too bad
either, $4 a head. Everybody around
here is collecting some coin this week (the guy we're staying with will make
around $800 under the table for three nights of letting strangers sleep at his
house).
Lots of the businesses
around here close shop for the two weeks, remove all their whares, and lease
out their space to rally vendors. Then
there's some businesses that are only open for these two weeks each year. They make enough money off just the rally
that they open two weeks and get the next 50 weeks off. This sounds like my kind of work
schedule. The two weeks I would have to
work, I'd have to sell leather thongs to scantilly clad women. Hmmmmm........
Mile: 117
Back in Sturgis. I can't believe the number of bikes we've
seen. Every town we pass through is
packed with thousands of them. I had a
hard time believing that there would be 500,000 people here this year, but it all
seems possible now. They're not all
actually in Sturgis, but in the greater area.
They all pass through at some time or another though. We hit all the vendor shops today and check
out all the new bikes. Boy are there
some nice ones out there. Is it too
early to trade in my ST? Dad and I are
thinking of taking some Ducati's out for a test ride, but they're not open
until tomorrow. Sign up starts at 8:00
am. The lady at the booth says that
every slot for the entire day will be full by 8:30. This does not look promising.
Watching the parade down
Main street is unbelievable. It's a
constant stream of bikes just cruising up and down the main drag. And the people watching is just as good as
the machinery. We end up watching for a
couple of hours it's that good. Sturgis
is like a carnival, parade, circus, trade show, bike rally, and party all
wrapped up in one. It's definitely not
just a nekkid drunk fest (damn!!) but an entire event surrounding motorcycles.
Well, the folks take off
and it's time to hit the bars......hmmm.......wonder what I'll see
tonight? Perhaps I'll show the photos
when I get back.
Today's Miles: 157
Total Miles: 3242
Mile: 0
It's WW here at the
Rally. That's Wyoming Wednesday to
you. It's time for the Devil's Tower
run, drags at Sundance Strip, burnouts
in Beulah, and hooters in Hulett. I
think I'm prepared.
Mile: 58
Wyoming state line: "Wyoming, like no place on
Earth". Seems fishy to me. Like no place on Earth good or like no place
on Earth bad. Could go either way. Seems mildly ambiguous to me.
Mile: 90
See my first motorcycle
accident of the entire rally. There are
some 1/2 million some odd bikes rollin' around out here and it's taken this
long to see any accident at all. There
have been no bikes tipped, dropped, run into each other, bumped tires, rubbed
bags, nothing. I am absolutely amazed,
especially with the way they drive around here. People passing each other constantly, pulling into traffic whenever
they want, merging without looking, turning without signals, and nobody hits
anyone or gets pissed. Not one incident
or hint of road rage to be seen.
Until mile 90. It appears to be a one vehicle
accident. A bike went off the road on
the outside of a left hand turn. Don't
know how it happened. The speeds these
guys ride at in groups are not high enough that the guy would miss the
turn. Regardless of how it happened,
somebody's down and an ambulance is on the way. Sobering, but I'm still amazed that it's the first one I've seen.
Mile: 104
Devil's Tower. Pretty cool. Took some pictures. Hung
out with 20,000 other bikers.
Mile: 112
A totally surreal
experience. Here we are, two bikes in
the middle of a 5 mile parade. I'm in
awe. Riding in a string of bikes
thousands of bikes long. Very cool.
The rumble is spectacular. The exhaust off thousands of Harleys
travelling at all speeds in all directions is comforting. It's a symphony of sorts. I'm not saying that this is Vivaldi's Four
Seasons, but Beethoven's 5th?
Perhaps. You suppose you could
find enough unique tones at the right frequency's to make an orchestra? That would be impressive. Perhaps I'll write the Sturgis planning
committee and see if they can't set something up for next year.
Mile: 120
Back at the scene of the
accident. Nothing here but a lone bike
on the hill off the side of the road.
Covered in dust. Looks like it
could have been there for 50 years it seems so untouched. And dangling from the handlebar? A tow-tag (or is it a toe-tag, is the bike
dead?).
Mile: 151
State line? Hellooooooo, state line? We're taking a frontage road back (gets us
off I-90) and I know the border is here.
Any road sign? No. Dammit.
Mile: 185
Back in Sturgis. Time to party. Grub. Observe. Head out to Buffalo Chip for the concert.
Mile: 191
........ummmmm.....can
anyone out there say boobies?
Buffalo Chip
campground. $34. I'm in.
As I arrive, the crowd is going wild.
Why? Captain Robbie Knieval is
just getting ready to do a jump from the top of the main concert stage into the
crowd. As he
lands.......fireworks. Awesome. Not an event that's on the list, but soooo
cool. Head into the general store for
film and Mt. Dew. As I head back to the
stage hundreds of people are walking away.
They have also just taken down the barriers where they had the Knieval
landing site roped off. So, I follow
suit with everyone, grab a bail of hay and grab myself a center stage seat
around row 20. Fabulous timing. Styx rocks.
REO Speedwagon rocks. Topless
biker chicks rock. Wet t-shirt contest
rocks. 'Nuff said.
Mile: 197
One last trip through
Sturgis as I say goodbye.
<<Goodnight sweetheart, it's time to go...>> Must come back next year. Must.
Arrive back home at
3:02. Have to get up at 8
tomorrow. Ouch.
Today's Miles: 235
Total Miles: 3477
Mile: 0
4.5 hours of sleep is not
ideal for getting up and riding 400 miles in the hot sun. But the rally cry is heard: Autobots, transform and roll out.
Mile: 72
"Wyoming, like no
place on Earth"
Mile: 92
"Welcome to
Montana". Is it a fluke that I've
now seen two border crossings in a row?
Well, not when you have parents riding in front of you who are pointing
out the road signs as we drive by. Yes,
that's right, I would have driven by both of them and not seen a thing had it
not been for the frantic arm waving on the point man.
Mile: 208
Bank thermometer: 104 degrees Fahrenheit. Now, everyone understands that standard dry
bulb temperature is in the shade right?
Let's look at this temperature a little more in depth to get a full
understanding. The temperature in the
direct sunlight is always higher than that in the shade. It's called solar loading. Given that the Earth passed the apogee of
it's orbit six weeks ago, that it's 2:30 in the afternoon, there are no clouds
in the sky, and we're at approximately 45 degrees 36 minutes North Latitude,
the solar loading is contributing 13-16 degrees of temperature rise. Did someone mention Heat Index? I thought so, but there really isn't any
given the low relative humidity. I
don't have a psychometric chart handy (nor a wet bulb thermometer) so I have to
make a swag and say the relative humidity is around 10%. That's pretty damn dry. Any perspiration evaporates almost
immediately into the surrounding air.
Because of this, there is no Heat Index adjustment necessary. So where does that leave us? 118 degrees at 75 mph on 4+ hours of
sleep. But I'm loving it and have
absolutely no complaints whatsoever.
Mile: 269
I've been watching the rain
for 30+ miles now. Really doesn't look
like we're anywhere close enough to hitting it. But we're very talented people.
We can hit anything. This is the
softest rain I've ever been in. I'm not
sure if rain can be fluffy, but if it could this would be it. The droplets are falling from the sky
unbelievably slow. They're so light
they're being caught in the wind currents and they're zipping over my head and
off to the side of the bike. The same
sensation as when you're driving while it's snowing. Not all the flakes hit the windshield, some are caught in the
slipstream and zip over the roof. I
don't know, maybe I'm really hard up for entertainment, but I'm terribly amused
by it all.
I've also been trying to
write a haiku about the cows I see.
They're just black dots on the landscape off at a distant. I'm going for the 7-3-7 style, the second
line being "holy cow", but I suck at poetry. Again, like the failed corn haiku, I leave
"Cows" unfinished.
I also have lots of time to
ponder and reflect on the entire Sturgis experience. It definitely was not what I anticipated. Nor was it what the folks anticipated. Much to their delight (and to my dismay),
this was the most tame, under control group of people gathered together that I
have ever seen. Church camp gets
rowdier than this. A list of things I
expected to see and didn't:
·
Public urination/defecation
·
Public drunkenness
·
Open containers in public
·
Sexual harassment
·
Public sex acts
·
Public nudity.......whoops, never mind, I did see that
·
Streets that I felt unsafe walking down
·
Areas that I wouldn't go because of the "bad element"
·
Bums panhandling
·
Port-a-potties that were less than sanitary
But this had to be the
safest, tamest group of bikers I have ever seen. Every one of them was polite, cordial, and happy to be in
Sturgis. Nothing got out of
control. No theft or vandalism that I
was aware. Fears that people had expressed
to me were totally unfounded. Even when
there were topless women there wasn't the constant hounding like you see at
Mardi Gras.
I believe I could do this
on an annual basis.
Mile: 391
Pop Quiz (Geographical and
mathematical):
A boy leaves Rapid City
South Dakota at 9:08 am MST travelling at 72 mph in a northwesterly
direction. A bee leaves Seely Lake
Montana at 6:32 am MST on the same day travelling at 17 mph in a southeasterly
direction. After the boy travels 391
miles, said bee and said boy collide.
The mass of the boy/bike combination is 461 kg. The mass of the bee is 0.3 ounces. The point of impact is full body for the
bee, just to the right of the adam's apple on the neck of the boy.
a) How much does the boy hurt upon impact?
b) How long does the pain last?
c) Is the bee still alive, if so what is the
life expectancy of said bee?
d) Is the stinger in the bee or in the boy?
e) Where does the bee go and what is his
velocity (speed and direction) 13 seconds after impact.
I'll give everyone a few
moments............
........how's it
going?...............
........okay, some answers:
a) A whole damn lot. The pain isn't excruciating, but I have tears running down my
cheeks.
b) 2.7 hours (even with Benadryl topical
cream).
c) Yes, the bee is still alive. Life expectancy: 7 seconds after boy finds the bee (which is an interesting side
story, see below).
d) The stinger is lodged in the boy's neck
e) The bee ends up taking
refuge in the boy's shirt. He oh so
nicely drops down to belly level. The
boy's shirt is tucked in. Since the
momentum of the bee is negligible (the mass is too small to be of issue), the
final velocity of the bee is that of the boy (72 mph in a northwesterly
direction).
I can feel something
"wet" on my belly at this point but don't know if it's a whole bee, a
friend of the impacting bee, or bee guts.
I also don't know where the stinger is at this point in time. 9 miles later we reach our destination. Sure enough, I look in the mirror and
there's something in my neck. Mother
graciously pulls it out, and: it's a
stinger. Now it's time to look for the
bee. I untuck my shirt, flip it up at
the bottom, and lo and behold it's my new friend the bee. The little b**tard is still alive, although
quite disorientated. To reorient him, I
flick him to the ground. Then I stomp
on his little punk a**. I'm not happy.
Time for cheery
thoughts: If all goes well tomorrow I
will see two state borders and the Continental Divide !!!!!!!! Wish me luck.
Today's Miles: 400
Total Miles: 3877
Mile: 0
It's going to be a long one
today. We're planning on somewhere
around 500 miles. Hope my butt's ready.
As we're warming up the
bikes in the parking lot and putting our helmets on, a fine little bird flies
overhead to give us a morning greeting.
Then he sh*ts on us. Well, more
precisely, on the bikes. Nice, fresh,
gooey globs of bird dung. A few kleenex
later (yes, brand name kleenex, not facial tissue) and we're on our way.
Mile: 123
We roll 4000 miles for the
trip. We were thinking that the total
trip would be around 4k, but it looks like 4.6-4.7 is more likely. Not a major milestone but absolutely nothing
else is happening. We're almost to the
foothills of the Rockies so the scenery should be getting better shortly.
Mile 363
"Welcome to
Idaho".....I catch a border crossing all on my own. No help needed. I'm pretty proud of myself.
Sometimes it's the simple things in life that give me pleasure.
Unfortunately, I don't spot
the Continental Divide. Come to find
out at the next stop no one saw the sign.
I even knew where it was supposed to be. The exact hill, the mile marker, the overhead walkway at Lookout
Point. Apparently since I was last
heading West on I-90 over the divide they have made some changes. No, the divide didn't move, they just took
the sign down. In it's place is a nice
little yellow/black traffic sign and little yellow flashing lights warning
people to slow to 35 when flashing to not hit the silly pedestrians.
Mile: 432
"Welcome to
Washington".....Again, I catch this one all on my own. I'm so proud. Two in a row. And the
last two of the trip at that.
Seems that traffic in
Washington hasn't changed much since I left.
The first 432 miles of the trip today were fabulous. Great roads, little traffic, moving at 75
mph, everything as it should be. The
temperature is in our favor as well: 84
degrees. This is the type of day where
you don't want to stop riding. We could
easily do 600-700 miles and be just fine.
At least that's what we
thought until the state line. Within
the first 100' of crossing the border traffic was mucked up. On the bridge over the Spokane River, just
fine. 100' later, muck. Bumper to bumper idiots who can't go the
speed limit. Clueless rubberneckers looking
at absolutely nothing. Maybe they're
distracted by the smell of Spokane.
Maybe they're just all idiots.
We call it quits in
Ritzville tonight (yes, that's actually the name of the town). There isn't another hotel room available in
any direction for 84 miles so we decide this is a good place to stop. Thanks AT&T corporate travel for finding
us a room. And thanks for the great
rate. Why don't all you readers make
some AT&T long distance calls (102880 if you need the access number) to
help support my abuse of the system to plan personal travel with company
sponsored travel agents.
For all of you who are
getting bored with the ride home (it's not quite the event that the first 13
days were) stay tuned tomorrow. I have
a totally useless and nonessential treat for you at mile 5. But you'll just have to wait and see for
yourself.......
Today's Miles: 513
Total Miles: 4390
Mile: 0
Well, it's the last day of
the trip today. I'm not sure how I feel
about that. I really miss my
waterbed. But I'm loving the whole no
work, open road, don't know where I'm going to spend the night, gnats in the
teeth experience. I know what drab
tasks awaits at home (laundry, cleaning, bills), I know there are surprises at
home (notes on the white board, things moved around, mysterious objects placed
in various places around the house), and I know what fun tasks await at home
(wedding, birthday party, comfy bed), so I'm at quite a crossroads.
And it's not the warmest day
we've had on the trip. In fact, it's
the coldest day we've had so far. Don't
get me wrong, we don't need thermals and scarves, but a jacket is a definite
must this morning.
Did find out why there were
no hotel rooms in the area. Britney
Spears is in the area. I'm hoping for a
celebrity sighting.....
Mile: 5
Ahhhh yes.......the much
anticipated mile 5. I know everyone has
been in suspense for much time now.
It's a very big event. Odometer
reading: 012345. Well, it impressed me, after all, the next
time that the odometer will read sequential digits is 111,111 miles away. I'm not quite sure how many of you will
still be able to read by the time it occurs so I thought I better play this one
up. (Pop quiz, what was my odometer
reading when I started on Day 1?)
Mile: 69
Boy, not much going on
yet. But quite the intriguing sign
appeared a short few miles ago:
"Crop Names on fenceline next 14 miles". Having spent a fair amount of time in
Kentucky (and having just spent days upon days riding through fields of wheat
and corn), I'm curious as to what crops Eastern Washington has to offer. And I'm also happy that they can have
several crops in just 14 miles. Now, I
understand that it's been over 4 years since I left Kentucky, and I know
they've made huge advancements in the farming industry, but nothing prepare me
for the crops I was about to see.
First crop: Onion Seed.
Nothing spectacular. It smells
like fields of Walla Walla sweets. Pretty
nice smell actually. And my eyes aren't
even watering.
Second crop: Tater Tots.
Yup, tater tots. I'm quite
surprised at this. After all, last time
I checked, tater tots was a processed food, not a grown food. But okay, I'm willing to accept this.
Third crop: Bread.
Well I'll be damned. Now they're
growing bread. And to think of all you
fools out there who bought breadmakers.
Apparently you can grow bread in your own backyard garden now.
Fourth crop: Grain Corn.
Hot damn. A crop I'm familiar
with. Definitely different from the fields
of sweet corn in North Dakota. I don't
know if any of you have tried an ear of grain corn, but I don't recommend it as
a tasty treat.
Fifth crop: French Fries. Nuff said.
Okay, so that was
entertaining for 14 miles.
Unfortunately, I believe that's the last significant event that might
happen this trip......
Today's Miles: 219
Total Miles: 4609
And that, ladies and
gentlemen, concludes Sturgis 2000. A
quick recap of the statistics:
4309 miles
29,456 dead bugs
1 car wash
89.742 gallons of gas
15 days
1 completed haiku
127 boobies (don't ask why
there's an odd number)
1 bottle of Captain
Morgan's
1 hangover
8 states
1 wedding
2 failed haikus
0 sore butts
1 bee sting
1 dead bee
47 Benadryl tablets
487,024 motorcycles seen
(like snowflakes, no two Harley's are alike)
4 t-shirts
1 Canadian province
3 cases of indigestion
47 Washington State MC
plates seen in Sturgis
1 damn big mall
17.8 hours of lost sleep
0 Cuban cigars
2 dead birds
1 bird that deserved to die
and didn't
31 miles of passengers (9
for the bee, 21 for the second dead bird)
$1.229 lowest price paid
for gas (North Dakota)
$1.689 highest price paid
for gas (Washington !!)
17 people who were able to
live vicariously through the experiences of one man.........
If anyone would like to purchase
a bound copy of this expedition, please send me three easy payments of $39.95
each plus $19.95 s/h. OR and ID
residents add sales tax where applicable.